The Hidden Lesson

"There is a thin line between knowing when to give up and when to try harder"

There's a lesson to be learned in everything...apparently. You just need to sit still long enough to hear it. When you have your sights set on a goal it can be difficult to pay attention. It's then that you may find yourself slowed down through no doing of your own.

Last week I signed up for the Half Marathon in Central Park on April 3rd with the intention of running 6 of the 13.1 miles, even if not consecutively. On Sunday I ran 3.25 and had my sights set on 3.35 for this week. On Tuesday I started getting sick. By Thursday I had bronchitis and today, Saturday I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded.

I am angry. I'm feeling defeated once again, betrayed by a body that doesn't want to cooperate. On Friday I convinced myself that I'd be able to run by tomorrow. Right now I'll be lucky if I can make it to the grocery store and back.

The anger comes from feeling like I did as a kid. I struggled to breathe every single day. I couldn't overexert myself, I couldn't walk far, let alone run. As I sat here stewing about this I had a realization. What could I learn from this minor setback?

What I learned was gratitude. Looking back to when I was unable to do so many things and never encouraged to try, I realize that now I have the power to do something different. I CAN try. And by trying and trying again, I HAVE succeeded. I ran a 5K a few months ago! That was an impossibility until I decided to try. I took it slowly and yes, I'm still very slow but I can run.

I have new appreciation for my slowness, my not quite 12 minute mile that I compare to others and start getting down on myself for. I may be slow, but I'm moving. And I keep moving closer to that goal no matter how many steps backward I take or how many obstacles crop up in my path.